[Wow...it's been over a year. Talk about a long sabbatical...]

So...the sermon this morning was pretty good. Actually...it was the children's sermon that got me (funny how that happens). My pastor had all the children fill their hands with as many little beans as they possibly could. Then once their hands were overflowing with beans, he pulled out a bowl of hershey kisses and told them they could each take one--yet they couldn't, because their hands were full of beans. They had to empty their hands of what they were holding on to in order to receive the gift that was so much better.

I think the parallel is obvious.  How often I cling to and hold onto my own desires, what I think I need or what I think will bring me joy. What am I keeping God from pouring into my hands, just because I refuse to let go of my own miniscule ideas of satisfaction or pleasure? No matter how many times God blows my mind, I can't seem to get it through my head that He not only knows what's best for me, but He WANTS what's best for me. 

By letting go of something, it doesn't mean that it'll go away. It just means that I am no longer clinging to it...and I am free to receive the good and perfect gifts from my Father.  Perhaps He does desire to give me that to which I had been clinging. But the point is He wants to give it to me in His timing and in His way...and perhaps He still needs to mold/prepare the gift a little more before it's ready. 

May I be intentional this season to LET GO of the things I cling so tightly to...empty my hands, rid my heart of distractions--so that I may be fully open and focused on receiving nothing less than Christ Himself and all the glorious fruit He brings with His Spirit.  May I not settle for the cheap pleasures that I try to concoct up for myself. May I find my utter joy and contentment in HIM alone!

Joy to the world, the Lord is come--let earth receive her King!
O come, let us adore Him....

Dear Lord, open my heart to receive You...teach me to adore You...

So I'm back to school now...and things are craaazy (as always). Lots of class work, getting ready for 3 days of teaching in a real classroom with real students for my math methods class next week, plus a gajillion Christmas-type performances for TC and Chambers (..speaking of which, ya'll should totally come to our choral concert this Sunday at 6:30, OR--more importantly--the candlelight service the Sunday after that--the 11th--at 6:30 or 8:30...all the cool kids are gonna be there...). So yeah...it's pretty much going to be non-stop madness until Christmas break. Good thing it's only 3 weeks away. :)

One more thing I want to mention before I run off to study and work on a lesson plan....something I feel God really wants me to share with you is an opportunity to sponsor a child through Compassion International. I've been sponsoring my child, Josue, for about two and a half years, and it has just been an incredible blessing to use what God has given me to serve one of God's little children...providing money to pay for supplies, health services, and Christian education for him.  Not only that, I've enjoyed getting to know him by writing letters back and forth, and I have the privilege of praying for him and his family specifically, as he tells me about things he would like prayer for. There are SO many kids like Josue who need sponsors, and...at this point I feel like I'm sounding like an infomercial or something. But seriously...God has put this on my heart hardcore. And when it comes down to it...it's about a dollar a day. How insignificant is that in the grand scheme of things? (And I can attest to the fact that when you give of your resources to the Lord, He is more than faithful, always. While I've had to make some definite sacrifices, I can truly tell you that there hasn't been a single time that God has not provided for me).

Even if you can't afford it yourself....get a group of friends together, or sponsor a child as a family or something. If you're thinking, "Well what'll that do...it's just one child out of how many million...what difference does it make whether I sponsor? If I don't, someone else will end up sponsoring the kid." And you know...you're right. It IS one child. One child that it will make all the difference for. If you don't sponsor that child, that's one less child that will be sponsored, even if a thousand more people signed up to be sponsors today. Do you want to be the one to tell that 1001st child that he/she is just not worth you're giving up a dollar a day?

Uh oh...now I'm playing the guilt trip card. But sometimes it just needs to be put into perspective, I think. So please...at least pray about it. Maybe this isn't something God is calling you to do right now. But if it is...please...either ask me about it, or go to www.compassion.com to sign up.

And actually...I have a sponsorship packet right here for a specific child named Sujin (he's adorable!) from India...and I have committed to finding a sponsor for him by Christmas. So if you're interested or would like to find out more or talk to me about it, please let me know...I have little information packets and a child profile on Sujin and all that jazz. You'd totally make my millenium (and Sujin's). :)

Ok...time to get off my soapbox and go study. I realize I get long-winded about this stuff, but...it's something I'm passionate about. So hey...at least think about it, k?

How do I even begin to express thanks to the Lord for all that He has done for me? Every now and then I stop and think about and realize how unbelievably blessed I am. Amazing family, INCREDIBLE friends....man. Who am I to deserve all this? (And of course, the answer to that is...I don't). God's grace is just overwhelming to think about sometimes.

I was thinking this morning, as I read 1 Chronicles 16:34...

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Two things hit me about that verse. First...the fact that his love endures forever. Do you realize the power of that statement? I think sometimes we hear it over and over, in songs and such...but do you ever just let that sink in? His love endures forever. As in...there never has been and never will be a day that His love for you, for me, has been/will be any less fervent. No matter what happens in heaven or on earth, EVER...the one everlasting truth I can depend on is His love. Wow...what a God we serve! He totally could have been this legalistic, power-gripping, authoritative God and made us his robotic little puppets, bowing down to him and doing everything He pleases. But no...He's the type of God who chose to make the law of Love reign above any other law. A person's priorities says a lot about him. So the fact that God says the greatest commandment is to love Him and love one another...mm. What a loving God.

The other thing that hits me about this verse is that it says to give thanks to the Lord...why? Because He is good. Period. Even if I perceived that I had absolutely nothing good going for me in this life on earth...if everything seemed to be working against me...I would still HAVE to give thanks to Him...because of the simple fact that He is good. I'm not saying "have to" to imply that God would pull out a laser gun and zap me if I didn't...but it's just what's naturally supposed to happen. No one has to force me...it just overflows from my soul. If I truly think about and realize His inherent pure and simple goodness...how can I keep from bursting forth with thanksgiving just for who He is? I think we overuse and cheapen the word "good" these days. Back at the beginning when God was creating the universe...He stepped back each day, looked at what He had made...and called it good. Imagine...creating and enjoying the very first sunrise, with colors bursting forth every which way...and the word "good" being sufficient to embody all of the beauty and magnificence of the moment. That's a pretty powerful word, if you ask me.

So enjoy today, friends...eat turkey, laugh with family, chase your little cousins around...but most importantly, take time to stop in the midst of it all...and truly give thanks to the Lord...for He really is good. And His love endures forever.

Amen.

Well...I decided to give this whole blog thing another whirl. It's been a while, and I miss sharing what God's been teaching me with you all. I also realized that after all the hassle of switching over to xanga for a while there...my heart remains with blogdrive. So...I went through all the hassle again of transferring all my xanga entries over to here...but it's worth it. Good to be back, folks.

Hard to believe the semester's almost over...what a crazy-busy one it has been! (of course) A couple huge things to update ya'll....first of all, I'm volunteering as a youth leader at my home church, so I come over for youth group every Wednesday evening. It's a tight squeeze between Touring Choir and Chamber Singers, but holy cow...TOTALLY worth it! I absolutely looove those kids...and it's such an incredible blessing to get to see and be a part of what God is doing in their lives. Mmm...good stuff.

The other big thing is that I decided to add a Christian Ministries minor to my degree...which I am unbelievably psyched about! I have felt a tug in my heart for ministry in recent months, and while I still believe I am being called to major in education (at least for now)...I can totally see God doing something crazy in my life somewhere down the road, involving some sort of ministry. So...we'll see. For now I'm just ridiculously excited about the religion courses I get to take now (yes, I'm a Jesus nerd :)). It's going to be a tight squeeze with my jam-packed education schedule the way it is already...but it'll work. God will take care of me, yo.

I feel like I'm in the midst of a lot of change right now...everything I have been used to in the past is gone, and is being replaced by new unfamiliarity. There's definitely potential for good in this of course, because see...the Lord is always doing a new thing. And newness is often necessary for growth and stretching and blessing.  And yet...a huge part of me misses what was. The comfort of the familiar.  Maybe it's just a nostalgic mood I'm in tonight, I don't know.  Maybe tomorrow I'll turn around and be wicked excited and on fire about all the new changes and experiences going on...

Another slightly scary thing to me is that I'm not even sure I have a clear vision of where my future is going to lead me. I always had this clear-cut, black-and-white picture of the rest of my life. But now...that's kinda out the window as I realize...God's plans are way bigger than mine. How can I possibly try to keep Him and His dreams for me in this little box I've created of my small-minded plans? So now that I am realizing this...I am coming to grips with the fact that I have no idea where I'll be in 3 years. None. And while that scares the ba-jeebers out of me...it's growing in me a huuuuger trust in God. Because that's all I have to hold onto at this point.

One thing is certain...God is using this point in my life to gently remind me that...He is the only constant.  The only unchanging factor in all the universe.  The only One I can depend on.  The One who will never let me down. "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever" [Isaiah 40:8]. Oh praise Him for that. He's the One I can turn to, the solid rock upon which I can stand.

Sometimes I get led/deceived into thinking that there are certain people/things upon whom/which I can fully rely to fill a small part of me, to make life worth the living. And while of course there are certainly many who add abundant joy to my life by simply being part of it, and while there are countless that I can trust and depend on as strong brothers and sisters...they aren't that unchanging Rock that Christ is for me. I can't rely or lean on them indefinitely. Sometimes God has to gently remind me of that by shifting them out from under my lean. And I stumble then...perhaps even coming out with a scrape or two. What I thought would hold out under me fails yet again. And I slowly glance back around to find that steady rock ever near. Of course. Why did I ever stray....to trust shifting sand?

The Lord is my rock and my fortress...my strong tower. The steadfast, eternal spring of life and love and joy. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. My firm foundation, my cornerstone. Heaven and earth and all I have ever known here will fade, decay, evaporate. But His Word and Love will always, always remain.

Amen and amen.

Well...I'm back from my weekend in Vabeeotchay (VA Beach). I really can't get over how gorgeous it is down there...and that my sister actually LIVES there...as in, not just staying there on vacation or something. Anywho...I had an amazing, amazing time down there. I got to meet all my sister's awesome friends/roomies/cohorts, check out Regent (jaw-dropping gorgeous as well), meet Merlot (most adorable kitty ever!), and of course...spend all sorts of awesome QT with my lizzy-pooh.

I arrived at my aunt/uncle's house Friday evening at about 7:30-ish (after a 9-hour cramped-up car ride..blah), rang the doorbell, and was greeted by 2 dropped jaws (my cousins Drew and Kara) for a few seconds of silence as they took in my presence on their doorstep; then came a moment of realization for both, then finally the shrieks of delight as they attacked me with hugs...yes, the surprise went over well. :) I enjoyed a fun evening spent with the cousins, as well as the following morning when we squeezed in a game of Cranium before I left for Lizzy's (awesome game, yo). It was seriously good to see those kids.

And wow, was it good to see my sister, too. I realized it had been about a month since we had last seen each other, and we both knew it would be quite a while after this until we would see each other again....so needless to say, we drank up every moment. She showed me around town a little, treated me to a smoothie at this amaaazing Tropical Smoothie Cafe, took me to see the university (as beautiful as the Grove, except more trees and a bit of a tropical flavor...yum!)...then of course we went to the beach for a bit and just walked along the shoreline talking. Lizzy cooked dinner that night (delish), then we hung out at her friends' apartment and watched Shawshank Redemption (yes, now I have finally seen it. awesome flick..and yeah, I cried...).

Sunday evening we went over to Melissa's apartment with all of my sister's cohorts for a time of worship to kick off their time at Regent (how crazy awesome is that...to have that kind of environment at Grad school). The worship was incredible...God was definitely present, and His Spirit was moving like a wildfire through the room. I was so moved and inspired during that time...just to surrender it all to Him again...those things that I keep seizing back up to take control of and obsess/worry over. He keeps teaching me just to trust Him completely, and not only that...but to enjoy Him. You know, I am falling more and more in love with Him...Jesus, the Lover of my soul, my eternal Romancer...the only One who can truly satisfy and quench this longing within me for a head-over-heels kind of Love. The kind of Love that will never hurt me, leave me, or fail me. Sigh...almost too good to be true. Almost.

So here I am back in PA...missing Lizzy like crazy already. But I know God is going to bless her incredibly with her experiences down there in Vabeeotchay, and I just look forward to hearing all about them. And hey...I have a pretty awesome week ahead of me here too. RASCAL FLATTS tomorrow night.  Derry Road Trip: The Sequel on Wednesday (yeah dawg), some working here and there....and before I know it, I'll be moving back to school on Saturday. Gee whiz. Can't wait!

Wow, so I really stink at this whole xanga blog thing. Sorry guys.

I can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since I got home from Pittsburgh. Did it ever even really happen? Sometimes I feel like it was just a dream...but then I get a phone call from a camper or a voicemail from a fellow staff member...and I realize that yeah, it did happen...and I grin.

So what have I been up to these last couple weeks, you ask? Well...lots of fun things. I've been back to work in the alumni office at the college, working all the live long day on profile books, in preparation for the reunions going on during homecoming this fall and whatnot. And I work with the most awesome people, they're so much fun...wow I'm blessed.

Meanwhile I've been filling my evenings with long over-due catching up and fun times with friends from home. Basically cramming an entire summer's worth of fun into just a couple weeks (or trying). Yeah dawg. I've gotten to hang out with my girls, see the Calvary crew...and even hit up a Coldplay concert (AMAZING). It's been hard though, because even just a week after my getting home, my friends already started trickling off back to college. Sigh. The hard thing about life as a college student, I've decided, is that now...you're always missing someone. If you're at home you miss your college friends, and if you're at school you miss your friends from home. Although on the bright side you now have twice the friends, which is pretty super-cool in my book.

This week has been packed with hanging out-age with people I haven't seen in forever. Sunday night was with the Calvary group, including a few faces who hadn't been there in a good while. Always good to catch up. Monday night Jarrettemo came to hang out (and we got into some sweet piano/guitar jamming action); Tuesday I went to our cyber church bible study for the first time all summer, and I saw a bunch more friends from home, as well as some new faces; Wednesday I went up and hung out with the Linesville crew, which included some crazy good times with sparklers, bottle rockets, and roman candles...as well as a bonfire, s'mores, and guitarring (yess); then tonight I had the immense pleasure of going out to dinner with my darling Becca and Emily. How bout I am SO psyched that we'll all be closer in proximity this year, with Becca at Westminster, so that we can continue the awesome fellowship with each other. I love those girls! Oh and I had a hair appointment today, which resulted in darker hair for Brittany again. I think I dig it...something new and different again, which is always fun.

In other news, I'm leaving tomorrow morning to go visit Lizzy in VA Beach! I definitely wanted to try to go see her before school started back up again, since I missed the whole moving her down thing when I was still in Pittsburgh. I kept trying to figure out the cheapest/best way to get there (pay an arm for a plane ticket, or a leg for gas)...and I finally just settled on driving myself down there. It'll be a 9-ish hour drive at least, and I'm going by myself...so that'll be...fun? I'm loading myself up with good CD's, and I'll have my cell phone available for random calling purposes (consider yourself forewarned now, if I have your phone number...you just may be a lucky recipient of a phone call from moi).  Actually...tomorrow night I'll be driving to my aunt and uncle's house first, since they just moved there to VA beach also. And I'm sooo excited because I am surprising my cousin Kara, whose 16th birthday is next weekend. She's kinda lamenting the fact that she had to move to a different state right before her big 16th birthday, which she had been anticipating for years and was planning to have a big special party....and now she doesn't know anyone at her new town yet, since school hasn't started. Sooo that's the other big reason for my driving down there this weekend...I'm going to surprise her and make some sort of attempt to make her birthday special and fun. I'm just so psyched because....I looove surprises!

As you can totally see...God has been blessing me hardcore lately with awesome times with friends and loved ones. He just never ceases to amaze me with His outpouring of blessings on my life, when I so do not deserve it. But even if circumstances in my life were really crappy right now, God would still be awesome and be worthy of glory, honor, and praise. He just...gah...rocks my bologne.

[Sidenote...I just realized that whenever I type these long catch-up entries, I sound really hyperactive...]

Ok, I could probably go on about more that has been going on and more that will go on...but Brittany really really needs to pack. So, I'll end this here...leaving you with a promise of another update relatively soon. (...hopefully!)

<>< grace and peace.

So...I'm back from my summer working at Urban Impact. Wow....is it really over? I have such a mix of emotions. The people, the surroundings, the kids that have been my life for the last 8 weeks are suddenly...gone. It felt so abrupt. Now all of a sudden I'm sitting here at home in an empty house, missing everyone like crazy.  Thank God for things like cell phones and instant messenger...plus an hour drive to get to Pitt is so not bad. You guys can count on my visiting.

On the other hand, it is def good to be home. I can't wait to see the crew from home...and I had almost forgotten how much I adore my bed. hehe. My parents will get home this evening from moving Liz down to VA the last couple days. Talk about craaazy. It's definitely hard coming to grips with the fact that I'm not going to see her very often at all anymore (after being used to seeing her at least several times a week). At first I really wished I could have gone with them to move her down...but then I realized it was probably better this way, since it would have been harder for both of us. Sigh...I'll miss my lizard-breath.

Anywho...wow. This summer. I don't even know where to begin. I can definitely say it was the most exhausting and the most frustrating experience of my life...as well as the most incredible. I had 4th and 5th grade girls, and having the same group of them for the whole summer definitely had its ups and downs. For one thing, they began to get comfortable with us, which meant heightened defiance and lack of respect.  We definitely had a tough group...which actually was really good experience for me to learn how to implement discipline (I'm not used to having to do that). There were many times I thought the girls just downright hated me, which was really hard...especially since I'm used to younger kids who just love on you. But then...it wasn't all bad having this group of girls. Having them all summer also allowed for hardcore bonding to happen, which was definitely beneficial. Being able to show these kids day after day for 7 weeks straight that I care about them, that I'm there for them, that God loves them so much...it was awesome. I'm afraid it also made for some really hard goodbyes at the end, though. There were many tears and hugs...with promises of continued correspondence over the school year.  I actually already got a phone call today from one of the girls (who wasn't even in my class, actually). That was definitely sweet.

I've been asked several times already whether I plan to come back next summer to work again, and I can honestly say...I have no idea. There were times this summer that I decided I never wanted to go back...but then there were other times that I found myself wanting to work for this ministry for the rest of my life. But obviously my decision won't be made by my emotions...it's definitely going to be a God-guided thing. I just have to pray a lot about it and see if that's where He wants me for another summer. So..we'll see.

Gah, there's so much more to share about this summer...it'll probably trickle out for weeks and months to come. I wish I had more time and mental capacity to write more about it right now, but alas. So...patience, grasshopper. All in good time. Or you can just ask me about it.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
(philippians 1:21)

Life and death...two seemingly opposing forces. But in reality, they are united by one common passion.  Christ.  To live is to make Him known and to seek His supremacy and glory in everything I do, say, and am.  To die is finally to be stripped of everything else of this world that weighs me down and hinders me, and to just enjoy Him alone, fully.  You see, there is no losing in Christ. 

We do suffer on the Calvary road as we take up our crosses daily and die to ourselves...but that also serves to make Christ all the more glorified in our lives.  Suffering is not just a result of following Christ...it's the means.  We can only boast in the cross when we bear our cross ourselves.  Because it is only then that we take the focus from ourselves, and Christ and His cross is truly made supreme in our lives.

We have a distorted definition of love in this world.  It doesn't seem like we do, because our definition involves kindness and putting others before ourselves.  But while that is certainly good...our problem is that we have been somehow deceived into thinking that loving someone means to make much of them, to make them feel wonderful about themselves. After all, it's all about self esteem these days, right? But that is all wrong...and that's why our "love" these days seems to fail so often. Truly loving someone means doing what is best for them.  We were created to see and savor God...that's how we were designed. So to "love" someone by making him/her feel good about himself/herself is actually hindering them from finding the true joy and fulfillment they were created to find.  True love is to point another to God for everlasting joy.

I just wanted to share some of this of what God has been teaching me  through my reading of John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life. I highly, highly recommend reading it.